Fighting for Lost Hope
by RR-Roza-Robertson
Summary: The day of the battle at St Vladimir's Dimitri was saved by Rose, only to have life threatening results. As he's pulled into a coma, Rose struggles to face watching Dimitri stay in the same position as she is forced to grow and move on.


**This is a DimitrxRose FF since I love them. This is kind of depressing and sad until you get to the end, so you're warned XD**

**Anyway, I do not own Vampire Academy; that would be Richelle Mead, such a lovely woman who graced the world with this series XP**

**Thanks for reading! .**

The terror caused my heart to shake, my body to tremble and my vision to blur. The only sound I heard was my own blood pumping through my veins and my heart thumping at an exceedingly fast rate. He had to live; I cried to myself, he just had to live!

Mum and I struggled to lift Dimitri's weight as we ran back to the school. When I saw the blonde haired Strigoi bite into Dimitri, I quickly reacted in running back to him, blinded by anger I hadn't even realised I'd staked the Strigoi until mum and I were running back outside, only now with a passenger. Fuck, Dimitri was heavy!

Still, in a very dazed and out of it state, he stumbled beside us; my hand was awkwardly stretching across my body to press against the wound to stop the flow of blood. Still, I felt the warm liquid seeping through my fingers and running down my arm as I tried like hell to keep my tears at bay. Night was descending, but I could see the gates up ahead. I ran faster, my breath coming out in desperate pants, Dimitri stumbling faster and mum was struggling to catch up with me. I could see people out the front of the gates, and ran harder, pumping my legs harder than in any training session I'd ever done.

When we passed through the gates, there weren't as many people crowding around, as we were the last to come through, mum stumbled, falling to the ground and sending Dimitri and I after her. I gasped as I connected the ground, briefly losing contact with Dimitri, and I quickly got on my hands and knees and crawled over to his bruised and beaten form. Rolling him onto his back I pressed my hands against his neck.

His face was pale, though purple and yellow and black blotches could be seen, his clothes were ripped in some places and just the look of him made a sob rip through my throat. His eyes were half-way open and he stared up at me, his eyes seemed dazed, but I knew that it was no longer from the bite. I didn't want to admit it, but he was dying.

"Don't do this, Dimitri, stay with me, you have to stay with me!" I said, my voice coming out in desperate cries. I heard people calling over to me, and someone tried to pull me from his body, but I swung a fist at them, through the vague bond I knew I'd lashed out at Christian, but I paid that no attention.

"Ro-za" his voice came out in pants, and I only just made out my name in the low whisper. A tear fell from his eyes and I shook my head forcefully.

"No! Don't say it, don't! I love you! I fucking love you, and you can't leave me like this! We were going to work it out, we were going to guard different people at the court, we were going to be together, you can't leave me now!" I yelled, trying to keep him awake.

I heard people gasp around me, but the sobs that tore from my throat drowned out any words.

"I. L-l-ove. You" His voice brokenly whispered. I sobbed harder, his eyes beginning to close.

"No! I love you, I love you, please don't go, please don't leave me!" I screamed. My body convulsed with sobs, my vision blurred and I tried to blink such tears away. I wanted to be able to see him.

"Lo-" he began, but his eyes went glassy, the life drained from them and his head fell to the side. Someone finally managed to pull me from his body, but I kicked and screamed, and after a couple of minutes, the feeling of hot and cold hot and cold flashing through my body, I gave up, knowing that I was only pulled from him so Lissa could heal him. I could tell from the bond that he had not yet died, and so she wasn't bringing him back from the dead and they wouldn't share a bond, but I knew that even if his wounds were healed, he might've lost too much blood.

In the middle of a clearing, my best friend trying to save the love of my life a metre from me, I kneeled in the dirt, my own injuries meaning nothing as I cried loud, desperate, anxious, heart-wrenching sobs. I wanted none of this to be real; I wanted to be in that cabin again, the happiest moment of my life where Dimitri was promising me the future that we could share.

"Come on, Rose, you need to be checked out" I heard a voice whisper in my ear and knew that it was Christian. I'd stopped sobbing, and I felt numb. I allowed Christian to lift me up, now seeing that it was truly dark now and Dimitri wasn't here any longer. What happened? Is he dead? Is he alive? Did Lissa heal him? Is everyone else okay?

Christian, with his arm wrapped around my waist, helped me walk into the infirmary that was packed full. People stared in shock as I entered, but straight away Lissa ran over, her face full of sympathy that immediately made me worry.

"Is he okay? Did he live? Is he awake?" I immediately questioned her, she sighed, wiping at something on my cheeks and when she pulled her hand away, in shock, I realised I was still crying.

"Rose, get checked out first" Lissa demanded, Christian began to pull me away but I shook him off.

"No, tell me if he's okay!" I ordered. Her eyes seemed to flash with an emotion I couldn't read.

"Get checked out and _then _I will tell you if he's alright" Lissa jutted her chin out to Christian who immediately took me away.

I was in a daze as they rushed me to a room, Christian sat next to me the entire time, holding my hand and simply telling the nurse that I was fine when I'd answer her questions robotically. Other than a twisted ankle, a few scrapes and bruises I was perfectly fine, injury wise, and allowed me to leave.

The nurse walked out of the room and I stared blankly ahead of me. Is Dimitri alright? My heart bled a little and I found it more than difficult to concentrate on anything. My body felt numb and my mind was too distracted, yet I found it too difficult to breathe, my chest crushing under the weight of the emotions I refused to feel.

"Rose, calm down" I hadn't realised I'd been in the early stages of a panic attack until Christian crouched in front of me.

"What's happened to him, Christian, what's happened to him?" I whispered pathetically, my body shaking in fear. I don't think I'd ever broken over something this bad. I'd never been one to cry, never been one to truly break…but Dimitri was my one love. He was the one that I would love for the rest of my life, whether he was dead or alive. No one here understood what it was like to lose the one you truly need.

Christian's ice blue eyes, for once, looked at me with kindness and worry "he's alive" he hesitate in saying, but his words immediately made my body stop trembling as much, my heart burst into over drive and I let out a breath of relief. My head bowed as I felt more tears fall.

"But—" of course, there's always a 'but' "he's not in a good way, Rose. He really isn't. Lissa's done everything she could to heal him but sometimes…it's just not enough" I let out a shuddering breath, telling myself that he's alive, so he has to be okay.

"Take me to him" my voice was hoarse from the loud sobbing, but my tears seemed to have taken a short break thankfully. Christian nodded and I quickly stood up from the chair, my ankle throbbed but other than that I didn't even feel it. I could see that Christian was worried about me walking on an injury but I pushed his attempts to help me away.

"Tell me where he is" I demanded, Christian nodded, grabbing my hand he quickly dragged me to a room down the hallway. I could see students and teachers alike looking at me and whispering quietly, and I knew that already the rumours of Dimitri and I had circulated, despite the destruction around them.

I reluctantly entered the room, my heart leaping into my throat with what I saw. I barely noticed mum, Lissa, Adrian and Eddie leaning up against the wall, but what I did notice, was my one love lying motionless in the centre of a bed, machines hooked up to him, the heart monitor taking in the slightly slow beat of his heart, a bag full of clear fluids while another was full of blood. He was pale, making the yellow and blue patches on the skin we could see look worse than they probably were.

"He's in a coma, Rose" Lissa whispered and I felt the tears begin to fall again; my body began to shake as I willed my led-full legs to walk towards the bed.

My legs failed me the moment I reached the side of his bed and I fell to my knees, my head bowed and resting on the edge of the bed as I gripped his hand in my own, my sobs once again overcoming me to the brink that my body was shaking so hard it would be more than noticeable and my loud, desperate, pain-filled cries echoing through the room.

He has to be okay, he just has to be! I wanted to scream to them all, but even I held some doubt, but my hope in him overcame that. He was my Russian God; he's able to do anything! He's the strongest man I've ever met.

Christian had brought me over a chair and sat me on it, my sobs had stopped but an endless rain of tears fell from my eyes as I gripped Dimitri's hand, brushing his hair from his face at times as well. He felt so cold.

My body still shook with some aftershocks of the sobs, my breathing uneven while inside my heart shattered, but the hope that he'd be okay seemed to constantly glue back the pieces the moment they dared break off.

The nurse, Dr Olendski, walked into the room, and seemed to stare at me with sympathy, glancing between Dimitri and me with nothing more than a small, sad smile. At least I know she wasn't judging me, hopefully that means _some _people support us. Though, it might not matter for too much longer.

"Hello, Rose, how are you?" I didn't look up at her, only continued to stare down at Dimitri.

"How bad is it, doc?" my voice was dry, emotionless yet showing the fear and pain that consumed me so. I felt the stares boring into my back that obviously told me they had noticed that I had ignored her question.

Dr Olendski walked forward, resting a hand on my shoulder that I ignored, before checking over the record at the end of his bed. Her brows furrowed with an emotion I didn't bother to analyse.

"Doc, how bad is it?" my voice rose, seemingly snapping her out of her daze.

"Rose…" I stared up at her blankly, willing her to continue, having to know the chances, but not wanting to at the same time "He doesn't have a high chance..." she paused again and I felt my throat and heart constrict. The tears that had finally stopped falling like rain soon entered my eyes again. But this time I closed my eyes against them, not wanting them to fall any longer.

"Just spit it out!" I demanded, getting angered. I wasn't in the right mind to deal with any of this crap.

"He isn't likely to live past one year in his state. Mixed with his injuries, the bite, the lack of blood and the exhaustion…his body just may not handle it" I looked back at Dimitri and sucked in deep, uneven breaths.

"Leave" I demanded, silence echoed through the room once again.

"Ro—" I cut Adrian off, a choked sob leaving my throat.

"Leave! GET OUT, GET OUT!" I screamed at them, as soon as the door closed, my desperate cries for him to survive, once again, filled the room.

Six months after battle

I sat beside Dimitri's bed, his state having not changed, but as each day went by he was looking healthier and healthier. He no longer had the blood bag and his skin was back to his natural tan, if not a little lighter from not being in the sun as much. He wasn't shaved any longer, but, surprisingly, with his sponge baths the doctors, at Christian's request, shave his face to not allow it get too bad. I think Christian just did it to comfort me, knowing that I didn't want him to appear unshaven because it would remind me that he truly isn't up and walking around. That he wasn't with me.

I haven't lost any hope that he will wake up, it's what keeps me going, that and my baby.

"Dimitri…" I whispered, brushing his longer hair out of his face, he looked so peaceful lying there, as if he'd been simply sleeping. I rubbed my bulging stomach with slight longing…has he been hearing what I say to him every day when I come to speak to him? Does he know that he has a daughter growing in my stomach?

"I found out it's a girl, after so many months of Lissa begging I finally gave in" I gave a wry smirk "I remember what you wanted to call your baby girl, had you ever had one, and so your wish be my command. Ava Lyric Hathaway Belikov it is" I smiled softly; I hoped that what Dr Olendski had said isn't true. It's only been six months, half a year and I'm hoping that at this point his current vitals won't begin to decrease. I don't want him any sicker, and at this point right now his levels may begin to drop and he truly won't reach that one year mark.

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind and gripped his hand tighter. "You know, people are beginning to get used to the idea of you and I having been together, they even seemed to get over the fact that a Dhampir is having another Dhampir's baby, I wish you were awake to see all this. You should've seen Lissa's face when she found out it was a girl, I swear she was more excited than me…it was amazing. I even heard her heartbeat and I'm due in four months, can you believe that? It is so close Dimitri" I squeezed his hand slightly, hoping he could hear me.

"I miss you, so, so much. Trials are right around the corner, of course I can't actually participate, but after I have the baby and I get fit again they're allowing me to take it then so that I can be Lissa's guardian. We've planned it so that everything will work out. Your family has come down, like I told you, they want to move to the court with us so I'll have plenty of baby sitters and I won't have to worry so much about Ava being on her own" I giggled slightly at a thought I had.

"Not to mention, Lissa and Christian are getting married, she's pregnant too, Janine is kind of exasperated and I think Alberta is out of her league a bit, being at school we can't get any of the food we crave so we get more than grumpy very often. Especially since Lissa and I don't mind ganging up on anyone that deserves it" I giggled again then sighed.

"Mia came back when she heard that Lissa and I was pregnant, her and Eddie seemed to have gotten together and they truly suit each other, Adrian's found love in, don't kill him, Viktoria they truly love each other, Comrade. I mean the love that comes with googly eyed mushy moments that make me want to throw up. I've met my father and it turns out he's Zmey, your family knows him so I think you do as well. I'm _so _much like him that sometimes it scares me. I'm Zmey's daughter. I'm Zmey Junior. Zmeyette, even" I giggled again, rubbing my stomach.

"Everyone seems to be getting their happy endings except me…I mean I'm happy to be having Ava, she's become my everything, but you're the one thing that I need" my throat closed up and I sucked in a breath. "I want you to wake up so much, Dimitri. I need you so bad" a choked sob escaped my throat "it's not the same without you. Everything is moving along without you, and I have to go with it. I have to continue facing these changes with my body, face raising a baby girl, seeing everyone going through trials, dealing with Lissa's wedding plans, constant shopping, meeting my father, making changes to go live in the court soon…but all I can see is you lying on this bed. You don't move, you don't change…and I feel like I'm leaving you behind" tears ran down my cheeks as my heart broke further.

"I love you so much, Comrade, please wake up, please" I begged futilely.

"Rose" I glanced up, seeing Christian I desperately wiped at my tears that were streaming down my cheeks. Christian had been there a lot for me during the time that Dimitri's been comatose. He's truly become the big brother I'd thought of him as.

"Chris" I whispered, he nodded, understanding as he walked over and knelt before me, wrapping his arms around me and not at all perturbed by my bulging stomach. I leant forward slightly to rest my forehead on his shoulder, my tears overwhelming me once again. Christian stroked my hair and held me close.

"God, Rose, I don't know how you do it, you're the strongest person I've _ever _met" Christian whispered, his words flattered me and I couldn't help than to cry harder than I ever had. My arms wrapped around his neck and I fought to stop the screams, knowing that it isn't good for the baby to be stressing as much as I do. Like that's going to change though.

I sat back after a few minutes and wiped at my face.

"Thanks, Chrissie" he smirked at me, but unlike his usual sardonic one, this one was filled with brotherly care, the type that doesn't come by blood, but by love.

"Anytime, Rosie, anytime"

Three and a half years after battle

I sat beside his hospital bed, as I've done every day for the past, almost, four years. As I've always done, my hand clutched his and I spoke to him about my day, what's going on and what's happened with Ava and Alyssandra, Lissa's daughter.

There have been a lot of close calls these past three and a bit years with his health, three times they've dropped so low that they've had to try and revive him, but each time he comes back. We now live at the court, as I suspected after I'd had Ava and did the trials, the highest marks anyone at St Vladimir's has ever gotten, I got Lissa as my charge. The Belikov's have moved over here, Lissa and Christian got married, as did Adrian and Viktoria and Eddie and Mia. They were all happy. Viktoria was expecting while Mia had a two year old. Ava is almost four and she knows everything that I've ever known about Dimitri and, with the help of his families' stories, so much more.

Ava is the perfect mixture of Dimitri and me; with his eyes and smile she's gotten my nose and hair. She's gorgeous, and I've no doubt Dimitri would think the same if he were awake. She's so smart and she loves books, just like her dad, she has his calm nature but my stubborn attitude. And she loves doughnuts. She loves sport as well, and is already showing a knack for being a fighter, but she doesn't fight people…until they annoy her. She's me and Dimitri perfectly mixed into one.

"Ava's growing up so big now, too fast. I want her to slow down, I want you to see her, but I can't seem to stop her. I've recorded everything worthwhile to see though, when I'm with her I basically have my camera on 24/7, you've barely missed anything, so you'll be there to see everything. If…no, _when_ you wake up. I'll bring her to see you soon, Babushka had her today while I was at work, Lissa's here in the hospital, doing her daily rituals of healing the sick, caring for the poor, all of that saintly crap" I grinned.

"Bye, Dimitri, love you" as I say that, I watch as his heart monitor picks up speed a little bit, making me believe that he can truly hear me, giving me hope. I lean forward, kissing his forehead with my eyes closed, my lips lingering there before I stand and reluctantly leave his side.

Five and a half years after battle

I entered the hospital room, tears in my eyes as anger and pain rocked through my body. The doctor had once again tried to make me take Dimitri of life support…they wanted me to kill him basically. They didn't think that he'd ever come out and it was pointless to hope. I didn't let the tears fall until the door was closed securely behind me, though Christian, Lissa, Olena and Yeva had followed me into the room, knowing that I was most likely going to have a breakdown behind closed doors. As I always did when they tried to convince me to take him off the life support because they didn't realise how bad it killed me.

Ava was five, she's five years old and her father has never seen her, I don't even know if he's able to hear me when I speak.

The moment I saw Dimitri I quickly walked over to him, sitting on the edge of his bed, I gripped his hand with one while the other covered my face as my body racked with sobs. I must've cried for a while, pain causing me to block out everything. This has happened a lot, more than I'd ever thought I would cry, breaking down I mean. I've broken down more in the past five and a bit years than I swear I have my entire lifetime. I think you could even add Lissa's life into the mix as well. I've changed, but then again, with the constant weight of losing your love hanging on your shoulders, it is bound to happen.

I heard a groan over my sobs and people gasp, immediately my sobs stopped, though my tears continued, and I glanced down with more hope than I'd ever had. My heart beat was erratic, practically screaming that, ribs be damned, it was going to leap from my chest whether I wanted it to or not.

I stared down, Dimitri's eyes fluttered frantically beneath his eye lids, his fingers were tightening around my hand and slowly, oh so slowly, his eye lids began to blink open. My hand now covered my mouth in stunned shock while tears continued to stream down my face.

Shock was my main emotion. After five and a half years he was _finally _waking up! My hero, my Russian god was finally awakening. But then came the risks: the risks of lost memory, of not remembering anything, of having serious brain damage or heart damage. I hoped that the monthly sessions of Lissa's healing would've saved him from any of that. She said that it would, but once again, I could only hope.

"Dimitri" my voice quavered as he groaned again, tilting his head to the side to hide from the light. Immediately, Christian had turned the lights off, as it was night for humans, there was no light outside either, saving his eyes from the pain of not being opened for five years.

He finally opened his brown orbs, blinking a few more times before looking up at me, his eyes still slightly squinted but he stared at me, meeting my eyes. I'd gone so long without seeing his eyes, his deep brown eyes that knew more about me than anyone else.

I didn't hesitate; I leaped on him, wrapping my arms around him, my upper body on top of his as I clutched him to me tightly and sobbed for everything I was worth. This time from relief than the usual pain and longing.

"You're awake, oh god, you're actually awake!" I cried, he seemed to stroke my hair while holding my back, but I could tell he was more than stiff from not moving, since it was as if he didn't have full control over his arms just yet.

"Ro—" his voice was so hoarse and dry he immediately began coughing, I sat up in worry, my hands fluttering, wanting to do something but not being able to. That was until Christian handed me his bottle of water, I took it with a thanks, pressing the pop top lid to his dry, cracked lips. He'd been getting plenty of fluids, but I don't think it had truly helped as much as I wanted it to.

"Here, drink this, Dimitri" he nodded. Nobody realised how much of a relief it was to speak to him and have him _answer_. I've been waiting for that for over five years.

He seemed to greedily drink the water, taking the entire full bottle before leaning back in relief. His eyes were no longer as dazed, but he still seemed so weak…so fragile to me.

"Roza" he was able to say properly now, but it was still rough and hoarse, but I wouldn't think anything different.

"Dimitri" I whispered, more tears falling from my eyes. He tried to sit up, and I quickly helped him, placing more pillows behind his head to help him before sitting beside him once again. He glanced behind us, seeing everyone there his lips came up in a tiny smile.

"I'm so glad you're awake, Dimitri" Lissa said, tears in her eyes from relief. Christian nodded his agreement.

"Yeah, man, you scared the fuck out of us" Christian continued, Dimitri's smile widened slightly, but it looked like it hurt.

"Sorry" he said his voice still low.

"It doesn't matter, so much has gone on, Dimitri, so much" I whispered slightly pained, wondering how he would take it.

"I know, Roza" I went to begin speaking but stopped suddenly when his words caught up to me and my eyes widened in shock.

"You…know?" my brows furrowed and he weakly gripped my hand.

"I was…in and out of it at times. I always heard you though" he whispered, thanking Lissa for another bottle of water which he also greedily drank.

"You…heard me?" my brain struggled to comprehend. Dimitri smiled at me and stared at the side table that was covered in photos, pictures, flowers and balloons.

"How is she?" he glanced in longing at the picture of me and Ava at the park.

"She's with mum right now, Ava knows you. Just so you know. We tell her everything about you, as much as we can to a five year old anyway. I have videos of…well, almost everything, you can watch them if you like" I whispered, hearing the door close I knew that the others were leaving, Christian whispering he would get the doctor in five minutes.

"Please" he said, with the hand he was holding he gently tugged and I hesitated, but he tugged again, I did as he wanted and sat beside him on the small bed, wrapping my arms around his torso, placing my head in the crook of his neck, his moves were a bit shaky but he managed to wrap his arms around me as well.

"I missed you so fucking much, Comrade" I whispered, my tears seeming to fall faster, as if knowing this was going to be the last pain-filled tears I cried over my comrade, the man I loved with my entire heart.

"I love you, Roza" I gasped, while I hoped he'd wake, I'd always doubted I'd hear those words ever again.

"I love you so much, Dimitri" I glanced up and moved, his lips pressed against mine, and despite them being rough and cracked, the kiss was chaste with barely any pressure; this was going to be the kiss that I'd always remember.

We pulled away and I saw a few tears leave his eyes.

"Never leave me again, please, please don't" I begged desperately. He clung to me as tight as his needle prodded arms could.

"I promise" he whispered.

An hour after that, Dimitri met his daughter, seeing her for the first time, no more machines hooked up to him and now in his own clothes. He'd managed to walk to the other side of the room and back but that was all his underused muscles could take.

"Daddy?" Ava asked in her cute, bell-like voice that radiated innocence.

"ангел" he whispered, Ava, having grown up on Russian, and I having learnt for her and Dimitri, knew that he'd just said angel. She gave a tiny whimper before running to her dad, jumping up on the bed and wrapping her arms and him, he didn't hesitate in hugging her back as hard as he could. I stood off to the side, more tears falling from my eyes, but this time I had a smile on my face. I was so fucking happy.

After they hugged for a while, Ava looked up at me and smiled, the tears no longer falling from her eyes and I wiped my own away.

"Mummy" she held her hand out to me and Dimitri looked up at me with a smile of his own, tears in his eyes and I didn't hesitate in walking over and getting on the bed with them, holding both the love of my life as well as my miracle daughter in my arms. I couldn't ask for anything more. I had everything I've ever wanted. My family…back together. My happiness…finally returned. My heart…finally complete.


End file.
